Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
