im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
