so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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