He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
