I think my vagina is haunted
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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