My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i believe in u and ur pee
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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