I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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