Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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