why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
