you guys were way drunker than both of me
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
