what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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