Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
