no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
