It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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