Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
