I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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