it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
