If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
