I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
