My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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