Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
