I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
