its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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