I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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