shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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