I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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