Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
