He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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