You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
