Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
