can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
