I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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