don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
