never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
