doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
