my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
