You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
