so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize