i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
