Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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