When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
