ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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