i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
