I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
