Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
