have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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