idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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