Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Randomize
