Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
