i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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