i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Come on in and take your pants off
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