I think I died a long time ago.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
